Maybe i'm a fool. A hopeless wanderer. Whatever. But I think Kermit's right: one day i'll find my rainbow connection.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSFLZ-MzIhM
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This is for the dreamers like me (God help us).
I've been thinking for quite some time on my dreams and I've come to some really reassuring conclusions. I think that every person in the world has a purpose which is tied interminably with your dreams. Your God-given talents and passions are meant to identify your role in life. Everyone has a dream and it seems to me that these dreams are the best indicator of what God put each of us on this earth for.
(Which, as an aside, may not necessarily coincide with your career - the vast gulf between purpose and job is too often overlooked in results-driven Western society).
My role in life is to make music, and for the longest time I thought that purpose looked like some kind of indie-rock star/singer-songwriter. When my most sincere and sweat-soaked efforts failed to yield any progress on that front, I moved back to Texas and went into music ministry, all the while struggling with the lingering doubt that I was settling for something less than the original dream God gave me. The ghost of failure walked in my shadow and whispered the constant accusation that I had let die the dreams I was given stewardship over.
I'm just now beginning to realize how selfish my dream was - and it was MY dream. The God-sized dream originally placed in my heart - to make music - was, is beautiful and pure. But I interpreted that dream through my twisted, human filter of want for acclaim, validation, approval, and love from others. Ultimately, the dream I chose was not God's - it was mine and it was selfish.
While that's a hard realization to make, it's ultimately liberating because I can now see that my dream, absent of self, is coming true. This is what I was meant to do - really, and truly. This isn't a lesser reality or a life diminished by failure. This is the fullness of God's plan in God's time. Hallelujah, that's a relief.
I encourage everyone to examine themselves and their dreams. Maybe your dream isn't coming true because it's full of self? Maybe the interpretation which guides your actions is tainted by motives which are self-centered and not God-centered? I don't know. I debated sharing this because the tension between the life we want and the life we have is often so strong it hurts. But I have a feeling that someone out there can benefit from taking a moment to prayerfully ask themselves "is this what God wants for my life or is this what I want? Does the maker of my soul's dream have a purer expression of it? Do I have the courage to surrender, to live in the greater reality beyond what I think I want and in the center of what my heart truly longs for?"
~Matt Riley
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