Waking in the dark no sleep left within, turning to pray a prayer that is not for me, but a hope that anothers' life may still rebegin.
Rest flees me now as only discomfort remains - mixtures of heat, aching neck, hunger and confusion a frozen wave like the first cold shower at a still cold dawn.
No flavor to spirit me away to some other memory, no touch to soothe my troubled soul, only prayers screamed silently, begging for the wisdom and grace long assumed to be naturally known.
No reason to shut my eyes, I can feel myself waking up further, wondering when I will wash all the filth from me, when it is that I will find a way to be cleaned from this mess that I have poured upon myself.
Praying that I can remember it is not my job - that I can't do this alone, that by grace I was returned from death and at infinite & free cost.
I made up my mind in a galaxy far, far away - now I will wake at 2:23 in my morning and ask that others might make up their own minds to do the same.
Haiti direct: (+50938953360), BBM: 24B46DD9
you are definetly not alone, buddy. . .
ReplyDeleteugh, I agree...I sometimes feel so lost and no motivation...but I guess that's a different subject.
ReplyDelete